Grandfamilies: Never Negotiate

Sawyer and Carly Celebrating Papa Rich’s Birthday. April 2011. When it comes to working out holiday visits or overnights or any other aspect of your relationship with your grands that depends on cooperation, never negotiate. That advice may sound silly or selfish or just plain cruddy, but hear me out. Negotiation is all about finding a mutually […]

Grandfamilies: Roll With It

Ayden and Cadence: Cousins on a Roll. May 2009. Today is a great day to shorten our list of things that make us fretful. Halloween is behind us, which means New Year’s is about three weeks away–or at least it feels that way. And I won’t even speak of the monumental decisions being made in our […]

Grandfamilies: Telling Better Stories

Sawyer’s Gray Fox. What kind of lesson is that to teach a child? Don’t you want him to learn to strive? My friend shook her head, even as she smiled. I had shown her the gray fox I had painted for my grandson to celebrate his sixth birthday. She asked me, Why is there a grape […]

Grandfamilies: How to Ditch Works-Based Love

Telegraphing Love by the Armful. Rich and Grandlittle Carly. August 2008. When your family members know you love them for who they are instead of what they do, you give them an enduring gift that will serve them well in tough times. And if your current phase of family life entails disciplining a family member, this all-in love […]

Grandfamilies: Want Warmer Relationships? Stop Doing These Six Things

Don’t Go Off Mad. When you are nurturing relationships with adult children (yours, steps, in-laws, or exes), grandchildren, and all the other characters who play a role on your family’s stage, it’s a good idea to think about your habits. A thoughtful review may reveal a few statements better left unsaid, actions better left undone. […]