Grandfamilies: Never Negotiate

Sawyer and Carly Celebrating Papa Rich’s Birthday. April 2011. When it comes to working out holiday visits or overnights or any other aspect of your relationship with your grands that depends on cooperation, never negotiate. That advice may sound silly or selfish or just plain cruddy, but hear me out. Negotiation is all about finding a mutually […]


Grandfamilies: Roll With It

Ayden and Cadence: Cousins on a Roll. May 2009. Today is a great day to shorten our list of things that make us fretful. Halloween is behind us, which means New Year’s is about three weeks away–or at least it feels that way. And I won’t even speak of the monumental decisions being made in our […]


Grandfamilies: On Trust

Cadence and His Rob-Daddy. July 2011. Las Vegas. Picture your family relationships like a stack of blocks. And we’re not talking about the orderly stacking that results in pyramids or little models of the White House. Oh, no. This stack is haphazard. You didn’t select your children’s personalities, did you? If we could, then maybe we […]


Grandfamilies: Handling the Contested Crisis

Ayden, Doubtful. September 2009. A few years ago, one of our grandlittles was expelled from school. The transgression occurred just before his birthday; his parents advised that he was not to receive birthday gifts that year. Canceling a birthday seemed oh, so harsh to my tender Lala’s heart. But his parents had dictated their disciplinary choices from […]


Grandfamilies: When Little Children Ask Big Questions

Carly and Lala, Pensive. July 2012. Every parent knows the feeling, right? Your little beloved asks a tough question–tough because it delves into grown-up matters, tough because you’re not in an appropriate place to have a heart-to-heart discussion, tough because you would really rather not talk about that squirmy stuff with your precious child, tough […]