>Like the Back of His Hand


 The Backs of Our Hands. Lake Forest, CA. September, 2007.

 Knowing Well

Five days a week, I point my truck towards town and roll in to my office. It’s an easy commute, dramatic as the oak arcades of Live Oak Canyon Road yield to banks, barber shops and bars, crammed side-by-side like diners at the counter waiting for the lunch special.

I’ve learned the details of the route: during the school year, I avoid the right lane as I approach Toledo. SUVs will clog it, waiting to deposit their adolescent payloads at El Toro High School. Nearing Bridger, I must watch for drivers dive-bombing towards the freeway onramp on the right. If it’s raining, I expect to ford a puddle at the underpass.

I know the way like the back of my hand.

Driving from a knowing place smooths the drive.

My husband knows me like I know my way to work. He knows that I despise dirty dishes in the sink. He knows how much milk to add to my coffee, recognizing the precise shade of opaque perfection when he sees it. He knows where the itch on my back lives.

He knows every bruise of my secondhand heart, and touches them gently when he must touch them at all.

Loving from a knowing place smooths our marriage.

God knows me even better than my husband knows me. Humility shrinks me as I remember that the Creator of the universe created me, too. He numbered the graying hairs on my head. He reserved for me the days of my life and knew how I’d spend and squander them.

And still He loves me.

His love, from His all-knowing place, eases my soul.

13 For You formed my inward parts;
You wove me in my mother’s womb.
14 I will give thanks to You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
Wonderful are Your works,
And my soul knows it very well.
15 My frame was not hidden from You,
When I was made in secret,
And skillfully wrought in the depths of the earth;
16 Your eyes have seen my unformed substance;
And in Your book were all written
The days that were ordained for me,
When as yet there was not one of them.
Psalm 139:13-16 (NASB)