Grandfamilies: Summer Car Games #1: Dreaming Together

Cadence, Papa Rich, and Ayden, Blowing Out Papa’s Birthday Candles. April 2011.

Big Dreams for Big Dreamers

Let’s play a game, boys, I chirped as we drove the boys home after a weekend overnighter. Let’s see how big a dream we can cook up. Just tell us your biggest, biggest dream.

Cadence didn’t hesitate. I want an Xbox, he said.

Ayden thought for a minute. I want to go fishing every day. 

Those are some great dreams, I said. Would you like to hear mine? I imagine that we have this big hunk of land somewhere, and we build a gigantic recreation room and kitchen in the middle. Then all around the rest of it, we build houses for every family group in our family. 

Then, any time you wanted to visit someone, all you would have to do is walk to their house! And when we wanted to, we could all get together and cook a big dinner for everyone in that kitchen.

So now, my first question is, who all do we need to build a house for? 

Silence.

Well, I said. We need a house for Papa Rich and me. And we need a house for you, Ayden, and your mom and Tex and Carly and Casey. And we need a house for you, Cadence, and your mommy and Rob-daddy and Sawyer and Daphne. And one for your daddy and Kris-mom and Scarlet. 

The words set their minds to ticking. For the next several minutes, I listened as the boys embraced the topic and started naming households within our families.

Great-grandpa Rod and Great-grandma Mercedes!

Grandpa Tom and Grandma Joan!

Aunt Crissy and Uncle Joey, and Ryan, Annabelle, and Skylar!  

Uncle Ryan!

Uncabecca! 

Uncle Tim and Auntie Anne and Craig and Allison! 

Those boys’ big hearts spilled out the names of all their loved ones–right down to a favorite kindergarten teacher.

Now, I said, what kinds of things do we need there? 

Papa Rich chimed in: a pool table.

Fun! I said.

Well, Ayden ventured, everyone will need a bed and showers and stuff.

Oh yes! Ok. We’re now pretending all that regular stuff is already there. What else?

A big-screen TV, Ayden said.

Yup! In the rec room, I agreed. What else?

A bowling alley! Cadence hooted.

Sure! Why not? 

Ayden said, Well then, how about a lake? 

Of course! And if we have a lake, then we need boats, right? And how about a chapel?

By the time we reached our destination, we had dreamed up a family compound (big enough for all the family and a few honored friends) that featured a bowling alley, a lake, a racetrack, a basketball court, a baseball diamond, a movie theater, an art studio, a wood shop, a gym, a zip line, and a rocket ship to Mars. Papa Rich even tossed in a source of income: an RV park and campground.

Our grandboys emerged from the car with a light in their eyes and s spring in their step. When we dream together, we share fun and we stretch young imaginations.  It’s not a bad idea to give our rusty old grown-up imaginations a workout, either.

One more element makes these dreaming sessions invaluable: We also get a chance to share values and priorities in the gentlest of ways.