Grandfamilies: Right Things

Ayden, Cadence, Rich, Me. March Field Air Museum. June 2016. Photo: Rodney G. Seiler How can one weekend hold so much pain?  From private tragedy to slaughter that devastates us all, this past weekend was a tough one. What can we hang on to when terror and hate spew from a rifle? How do we keep […]


Grandfamilies: Wreckage

One Big Mess. Trabuco Canyon Road. December 2010. A quick way to learn how little you know is to begin sharing your thoughts on a topic with people. I’ve been writing about relationships in families that are both blended and extended for some time now, but a recent email from a reader sent me straight to […]


Grandfamilies: Summer Car Games #1: Dreaming Together

Cadence, Papa Rich, and Ayden, Blowing Out Papa’s Birthday Candles. April 2011. Big Dreams for Big Dreamers Let’s play a game, boys, I chirped as we drove the boys home after a weekend overnighter. Let’s see how big a dream we can cook up. Just tell us your biggest, biggest dream. Cadence didn’t hesitate. I want an […]


Grandfamilies: Let’s Lose the Trophies

Cadence “Graduates” From Preschool. June 2011. If you have a child or grandchild who plays baseball, dances, or draws interesting shapes in Pre-Preschool, you may have noticed that every child receives a trophy at the season-end banquet/playdate/ice cream party. And isn’t it sweet that every single child is called forward to receive a special award at  year-end […]


Grandfamilies: Handling the Contested Crisis

Ayden, Doubtful. September 2009. A few years ago, one of our grandlittles was expelled from school. The transgression occurred just before his birthday; his parents advised that he was not to receive birthday gifts that year. Canceling a birthday seemed oh, so harsh to my tender Lala’s heart. But his parents had dictated their disciplinary choices from […]