Call It What You Will

Cousins: Vaite, Elaine, Mirimata. Tahiti, 2004. A friend and I chatted as we sipped coffee. The conversation soon tilted toward our children. As she updated me on a daughter’s family, she told me that she and her husband were instructed not to call the teenager who belonged to a son-in-law their grandson and that he was […]


Who Are You Talking To?

Baby Carly, Rachael, Kevin. Christmas, 2008. Not talking, actually. Parenting. Who are you parenting to? Or who are you grandparenting to? This question differs from who are you parenting?  or who are you grandparenting? I’m thinking audience. Specifically, I am wondering if our acts of parenthood or grandparenthood serve as a report card to our own parents.  Maybe at […]


Grandfamilies: Merry merry Christmas!

Christmas, 2009.  Christmas is a time of joy and peace and goodwill. Right? Right?  Honestly, most of us have experienced a Christmas celebration that included, at no extra cost, some snark. Some disappointment. Some ill will. And that’s just the dog. Odds are the people in your life, can, on a truly bad day, out-snark even […]


Grandfamilies: How Happy Are Your Holidays?

Christmas, 2008. L-R: Elaine, Cadence, Rachael (with beautiful hair), Ayden, Kevin, Carly.  Ah, Christmas. After a splendid dinner of prime rib roast, all your loved ones gather around a crackling fireplace, sipping hot chocolate. Auntie is at the piano, playing O Holy Night. Snow falls outside, adding to the hush of Christmastide. The tree glitters with perfectly […]


Grandfamilies: You Go First

Sawyer And Cadence. December 2011. When you’re five years old and your 13-month old brother barges right smack through the middle of your epic army man battle, you’re likely to be mad. It’s also likely that in short order your mom or some other adult on the scene will encourage you to forgive and move on. […]