Grandfamilies: How to Ditch Works-Based Love

Telegraphing Love by the Armful. Rich and Grandlittle Carly. August 2008. When your family members know you love them for who they are instead of what they do, you give them an enduring gift that will serve them well in tough times. And if your current phase of family life entails disciplining a family member, this all-in love […]


Grandfamilies: There Is No Neutral Ground

Cadence and Ayden,  Gleeful. October, 2015. Can we talk about turf? I don’t mean the kind you water and mow. I’m talking about territory. Sometimes I go sideways when I forget to consider whose home field we’re playing on. I’ve figured out that the rules are different within extended families. In a typical social situation, I imagine control […]


New Every Morning

Cadence, Red-Handed. October, 2007.* Why Is God’s Mercy New Every Morning? Biblical promises comfort me. They remind me that so long as I breathe, I have another chance. A favorite comes from Lamentations 3: 22 The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases;    his mercies never come to an end;23 they are new every morning;    great is your faithfulness. I thought about this verse a […]


When Kids Fall Short

Little (Grand)Children, Little Problems: Daphne and Me. October, 2012. That Father’s-Eye ViewI was commiserating with friends the other day. These brave friends live with teenagers at home. These friends are weary, and spent, and concerned about what’s next. Because what’s already been is beyond the pale. They didn’t expect persistent disobedience. Anger they can handle; disinterest is […]


Drive-By Conviction

Fire Trucks at Cook’s Corner. October, 2007. In Good Faith“Always assume good faith,” my friend Bruce counseled. My graduate-school colleague seldom offered advice, so when he did, I listened. I had naively stepped in a seething campus controversy. Now that I was stranded in quicksand, I kept glimpsing hostile motives sliding around corners just beyond […]